Someone once told me that once youre a mother it's having your heart outside of your body and you're never the same. It's so true. From the very moment Derek came into the world it's been a struggle. Joseph is tough and determined.
My grandmother buried 4 of her children before she died. After my aunt died some said she was never the same. She was a tough woman from what I recall. My dad tried to please her and never seemed to enough or what she wanted.
I dont recall that last moments of true happiness. When I felt my heart leap with joy. Or smile a real "I have no care in the world" smile or laugh till my side ached. It's been too long.
I dont see any blue skies soon. Still a few clouds hanging around a bit. Most of the clouds I have created thats for sure. So I figure I better make my own sun too.
We will all smile again.I am just not sure how soon.
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