I had the pleasure of standing in front of these buildings. Derek put his tiny hand on the North Tower. He was just 9 months old.
We all can remember where we were when we heard the news. The days that followed. We picked up the pieces and slowly moved onward. And yet we live in fear. Tiny bits of fear. I hear others say they will not fly any more ever again. They avoid the large cities. Then they have won. They have put fear in your heart. They have made you see our country as an ugly dangerous place and it is not. You cannot live in fear. You must live each day and every day and see the good in every moment of it. Never in a millon years would we have ever guessed that these towers would fall, with so many lives in side of it, but they did. Imagine if they would never have been built. If someone said "Well someone might crash a plane in to it?" Maybe some lives would have been saved it's true. But I wont live my life like that. Reach for the sky, live large and big and bold, instead. That is what 9/11/2001 did to me. My life has changed in so many ways since that day. I dare to say it was altered. But I know this I am stronger, braver because of it.
1 comment:
I know your message is true. I know it is. And in theory, your message is solid, stands on its own. BUT, I do live in fear. I can't help it. I don't want to, I want to get rid of the fear so badly. In fact, today, driving down the road, I was thinking of many things (you know, the norm, I never think simple). The tears came at the moment when my mind went to the fear I live with. I felt like I was with my therapist again, sitting in front of her, yet I was alone, driving on the road, having a conversation with myself. I won't go overnight anywhere. I won't fly on a plane by myself without my boys. I won't let them very far out of my sight. At those moments in time, I try not to act like a freak or out of control about it, I try to portray someone who is in control, who just simply says a quiet, "no, not this time" answer to whatever it is but if you could look inside me, you'd see gobs and gobs of fear. And I'm sorry for that. I hate that. I wish it was not there. But it so is. It's there because of 9/11. It's there because of losing Lucas. It's there because you never know who you really don't know who you think you know. I know, it's sad. It's horrible. I don't want to be this way but it's there. There it is.
How do I get to the place where I live big and worry free? Be bigger than them? How? I'm not being sarcastic, I really want to know. I really, really, want to know. Because the tears, they still come, the fear, it's way still there, and bottom line, I think it's there a little bit in all of us. No matter what we want to do, want to think, wish to be.
I admire your thoughts. I know you believe them. I wish I could be there with you. Maybe one day, I can. Right now, I try to temper it. I just try to do better, think good things, imagine good things. For me, it's the best I can do.
--J
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