This was the first time I held Derek. All attached to wires and alarms. He was sleeping so peacefully we had to wake him to feed him but I didnt want to wake him I just wanted him to sleep and get well and grow. I wanted to see him so calm and peaceful and pretend he was well. When he woke up he was grumpy and sick. Sleep baby sleep.
He's sick again. I know it's always something. Now is it Strep Throat? What is it? His teacher things he's faking to get out of work. I say listen to his chest crack and pop when he breaths. Look at this themometer? Look at this boy not playing just laying about? Would he give up class work for that? What am I doing wrong? Why is he so sick.....again. Sleep baby sleep and get well.
From the moment I held him there in that picture I had no idea how to be a mom. I was still so sick and groggy myself but I knew that he was mine and I would take care of him and pray for him and fight for him no matter what. I could not imagine life without him.
Today I feel the same way. He is still mine. I will fight and pray for him. I dont always have the right medicine for him but he still thinks I do. I cannot imagine life without him.
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