Today I made a lady in a mini van very upset. She honked her horn at me. She made the crazy sign with her finger to her head at me. She called me stupid.
I wont go into what I was doing or the fact that she was speeding which in the end would have made the whole thing her fault not mine. I almost followed her home to apologize but she was so mad I thought she might hurt me and I had my kids in the car.
I spent the afternoon feeling bad about the whole thing that I made her so mad, that she made me feel so foolish but what I felt more than anything is I am going to let go of my road rage. If you want to speed and drive like a fool than do it. I am done.
I remember in psychology's learning about the higher archy of needs and the Ego and Id and how I am very much a follow the rules kind of gal. You follow the rules, I will follow the rules and all will be fair. And I get pretty mad when I follow the rules and it's not fair. I get even madder when you don't follow the rules and you get more than me or better than me I want to scream "Hey she didn't follow the rules and I am why is she getting more or better?" but life isn't fair and while it's tempting to park in the red zone, cut in the car line, call another driver stupid or speed in the end I want to believe it's Karma and what comes around goes around.
Or as Ralphie says in Christmas Story to Black Bart "You'll get yours" and I want to believe all those rule breakers will get theirs and some day I'll get mine.
But I am going to take deeper breathes and let it go and give it to the universe. I don't want the stress. Balance that is what it's all about now.