People wont want to talk about Cho Seung-Hui the student behind the tragedy that took place yesterday on the Virginia Tech campus. They will want to remember the victims. But they will talk about him. They will want to go thru his room for "signs" too late if you ask me. Reports say he was "troubled" and "disturbed" and yet no one really "knew" him or knew if he got the help one teacher suggested he get.
Why is it that we as a nation have a habit of being reactive and not very proactive? We close the barn door long after the horse has fled.
I hang out with boys. Lots of boys. Little boys. And I see troubled boys. I hear the things they say. The drawings they draw and I bring it to parents attention who think I am overracting. I tell the boy who asks me "Do you ever want to just kill someone?" He's 7 by the way. And when I say "No do you?" He says "Yeah I do I want to take this knife and just kill him. But then I make a better choice" and I freeze in fear. And I grab him and I tell him to tell his daddy or his mommy or a teacher whenever he feels like that or even me so we can help him. It's not a joke to me.
Boys sometimes SCREAM for a father or at least a father figure in their lives. They will break things or say "I am leaving and never coming back" or when I ask who will clean it up they say "Who cares?" And maybe it's not about the father it could be a million other things. But one boy inparticular who has such rage when he plays and doesnt know the word No or Stop. His dad is not around much and I ache for him. I know how my boy played when daddy was gone alot. I saw it he was sad, he was mad. We dont have that as much anymore daddy is here and they are happy about that.
I hear mothers say "I am not worried about him he can take care of himself but my daughter oh I worry so" No! Girls get all the lip service. Girls get to wear shirts that say "Boys are dumb" and "My brother did it" when did it become ok to let boys have it all.the.time?
We have told Derek that if anyone ever says anything about wanting to hurt themselves or someone else he needs to tell me or his teacher pronto. Dom has showed him how to protect himself in a classroom and even where to sit for safely. Yes I am not happy that we had to have that conversation but lets be realistic it could happen. I will not say "We should have showed him?" or "Gee that boy was troubled" NO. I have to do something even it makes others uncomfortable.
We have to take responsibility as a nation for these tragedies but is anyone really willing to? It could get messy they say. Stepping on rights and privacy. I say Cho Seung-Hui wasn't thinking of the mess anyone had to clean up he was just hurting and confused.