Tuesday, April 17, 2007

So much to say

People wont want to talk about Cho Seung-Hui the student behind the tragedy that took place yesterday on the Virginia Tech campus. They will want to remember the victims. But they will talk about him. They will want to go thru his room for "signs" too late if you ask me. Reports say he was "troubled" and "disturbed" and yet no one really "knew" him or knew if he got the help one teacher suggested he get.

Why is it that we as a nation have a habit of being reactive and not very proactive? We close the barn door long after the horse has fled.
I hang out with boys. Lots of boys. Little boys. And I see troubled boys. I hear the things they say. The drawings they draw and I bring it to parents attention who think I am overracting. I tell the boy who asks me "Do you ever want to just kill someone?" He's 7 by the way. And when I say "No do you?" He says "Yeah I do I want to take this knife and just kill him. But then I make a better choice" and I freeze in fear. And I grab him and I tell him to tell his daddy or his mommy or a teacher whenever he feels like that or even me so we can help him. It's not a joke to me.
Boys sometimes SCREAM for a father or at least a father figure in their lives. They will break things or say "I am leaving and never coming back" or when I ask who will clean it up they say "Who cares?" And maybe it's not about the father it could be a million other things. But one boy inparticular who has such rage when he plays and doesnt know the word No or Stop. His dad is not around much and I ache for him. I know how my boy played when daddy was gone alot. I saw it he was sad, he was mad. We dont have that as much anymore daddy is here and they are happy about that.
I hear mothers say "I am not worried about him he can take care of himself but my daughter oh I worry so" No! Girls get all the lip service. Girls get to wear shirts that say "Boys are dumb" and "My brother did it" when did it become ok to let boys have it all.the.time?

We have told Derek that if anyone ever says anything about wanting to hurt themselves or someone else he needs to tell me or his teacher pronto. Dom has showed him how to protect himself in a classroom and even where to sit for safely. Yes I am not happy that we had to have that conversation but lets be realistic it could happen. I will not say "We should have showed him?" or "Gee that boy was troubled" NO. I have to do something even it makes others uncomfortable.
We have to take responsibility as a nation for these tragedies but is anyone really willing to? It could get messy they say. Stepping on rights and privacy. I say Cho Seung-Hui wasn't thinking of the mess anyone had to clean up he was just hurting and confused.


Jen Kirk said...

Please PLEASE tell me you are not actually defending that asshole.
Please tell me that you don’t really mean to say that HE is the victim.
The victim of what, exactly? Bad Parenting?
As an actual victim of a violent crime, I gotta tell ya…that’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard.
This was an adult, a grown man, perfectly capable of distinguishing between right and wrong, that randomly murdered strangers for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Were they ‘as a nation’ responsible for his actions? Don’t you think there comes a point at which people need to take responsibility for themselves, regardless of their upbringing?
Cho Seung-Hui was a selfish, callous, irresponsible, senseless fuck and the open justification and absolution of his actions makes me sick.

Anonymous said...

Wow, not sure if you are an American or not? But how can you defend this 'person'? To blame this on not having a father figure!? come’ on...the number is astronomical of children without fathers or crappy fathers and they don't go around killing their peers. Did something go wrong with this person - obviously! Maybe he was breastfed too long, or why not blame it on the music. Ya know of ALL the things to assume why he did what he did why not having a father and why ask AMERICANS to take responsibility? I don't know you but you sound like a jacka$$.