Snags and such

I was never the first girl picked for kick ball. I was never the smartest or prettiest. I have never had my act all together... still dont. It always seems I am last in line. I just can't get it together. I just can't be first. Not first of my friends to have a boyfriend. Not the first to marry. Not the first to have a baby, own a home, go to Hawaii, blah blah blah. You get the idea.
I am happy for ....you, I usually always am and deep down I am usually always... frankly... a little jealous. I usually do get what I desire but it's usually "later" or it's just a little less than what I wanted. I settle. Better to get this than nothing at all. I have come to depend on others for what I need or want. I have put it all in Dom's hands while I stay at home and work with Joseph. He is happy to cruise. He has provided and for that I am grateful.
I shall sit and count my blesssings...here goes.

I have a wonderful husband.
I have (most of the time, right mom?) wonderful boys.
I have wonderful parents.
I have a family that I can count on when I need them.
I have good health (well except these headaches)
I have good friends all over the place.

All is right.
So there is a snag but deep in my ... heart? my soul, it's just a small snag. I have put it into anothers hands, my dream and I hope and I pray that it all goes well. Deep breaths here.
So yes another new neighbor is moving in. I am happy to have you, happy you are in your first new home. That's great. I smile. Welcome to the crazy court. The snag will be removed and overcome and I too will move into my first home. I am just never picked first and I am getting use to it after 38 years I am getting use to it.