Today I Walk

Today is the annual Relay for Life here in Tracy. It's the first time I have ever participated in this event. We'll see how it goes. My time to be on the field is 6 pm till 8 pm. Then again tomorrow at 6 am.

Today I walk for my beloved Aunt Kat.
Aunt Kat held me when I was a baby, sang to me as a toddler, believed in me, told me I was pretty and smart as a teen. Stuck candy in my pocket as a child, money as a college student. Wore red lipstick and fancy shoes. Put curlers in her hair to go to work. Told my dad he was too hard on me and my mom she wasn't hugging me enough. Let me hold her puppies and dress up in her clothes and play with her fancy side by side refrigerator I was always fascinated with.

Her funeral was the first I had ever been too and I sobbed as the rain fell down the sky was as sad and lonely as I was. Dominic and I got engaged February 14th she passed two weeks later on my birthday March 3rd. My dad was able to tell her we were getting married and she smiled and squeezed his hand. She liked Dominic. She would have just oozed love for our boys.

I miss her lots. All the time. I visit her grave a lots just to be with her.

All the cancer research in the world would not have been able to save her. She smoked for so many years. Never really took very good care of herself and when the cough got bad and it seemed she was so sick she went so fast almost before our eyes. Her lungs just gave out.
She took with her the recipe for pomegranate jelly and her famous fruit salad, secrets my father told her but maybe no one else in the world, stories of my Grandmother I will never know and a faith in me no one has had in me ever or since.
Maybe if we raise enough money or educate enough people no one will ever loose their Aunt Kat. She should have been at my wedding, held my babies, gave them the wings she gave me. I guess that is why I am walking today.