Derek started 3rd grade last week. He has gone from a year around schedule back to traditional. So all of the different tracks merged. Derek has 2 friends in his class the rest have different teachers but they see each other on the playground, and he's made some new ones so it's no biggee for him.
Yesterday I get a call from a mom of a boy Derek had some trouble with last year. Derek is rough he as told him mom and so she told him to stay away from Derek. I cannot imagine Derek being rough at all with anyone.This boy is in another class and hasn't made any friends so he's clinging to Derek. So she says Derek kicked her son in the head on the way down the slide. He had mentioned to me that his friend had kicked him in the head on the way down the slide and he had a bruise to prove it on his forehead but hardly anything noticeable.
The mom said her son was so sad and she wanted to know if Derek was picking on him. Please note Derek was just over at his house last weekend and there was no trouble at all. I was shocked and said that Derek had told me of the slide game and I didn't think it was bad. She goes on to tell me that her son doesn't like some of the language on the playground. I haven't heard my son utter anything other thatn suck and he thinks you spell is sux and he learned that I am sure from my mom. If the playground is dirty I am sure I would hear it at home. Well apparently the kids say "stupid" and her son does not like that. We dont call people stupid we say "my stupid toe wont get better" or "this stupid thing wont work" but never "hey stupid get over here" but her son doesnt like that word and will tell kids they are using foul language. Not cool with third graders I think.
So I told there was no problem blah blah. And then she says "well my husband is gone alot and he doesnt have a man figure around the house but when his father heard about the things going on last week with Z (another kid) he told him not to let them pick on him and just beat him up...." my mouth dropped and then she added "so if he continues to have a problem with Derek he might just beat him up that's what we told him to do" I was speechless.
I tried to be diplomatic apparently I am working with an insane woman. I said "Well I hope they boys can work it out which is what I usually let Derek do" I do not run and call moms the second week of school good God. My mom never called another mom I had to learn to deal with and take care of my own bullies, my own problems and for the most part I think as far as that goes I am ok.
I am all for nipping things in the bud. Derek has had some problems and we have told him to stay away from certain kids. It's school yard drama. The one time it seemed to not be getting better (please note he was in kindergarten in a private school. A very small fish in a small pond) we had to call the school and they took care of it straight way.
I have told Derek not to stay away from the boy but be aware you have to be extra nice around him. To watch his manners on the playground things like that. I am not blowing it up that she said her son would beat mine up that I am sure is something she would do. I pretty much told her I am a busy woman raising my boys, doing other things and I am teaching my sons to work things out and hung up. She begged me to keep on eye out for things going on on the playground. She said she might spend a day or two going and watching. I think she needs a hobby or maybe a job.
I know it hurts to think your child is being picked on at school or is having trouble and the bullying issue is such a buzz word. But I think we need to toughen up a bit. In the world they aren't always going to be nice to you and some will say well you don't need to learn that in third grade, maybe not, but I don't think it hurts any less if you learn in it 6th grade or beyond. I dont know I just want to raise MEN confident well adjusted MEN that's all I am saying.