Bitter Sweet Days

Friday was a rough day for me. The week was a rough one for everyone I think. And I could feel today coming for my friend Jenn. I don't always get the day right but I know that it's coming I know it's the time of year.

I know the day Lucas was born, I know the day he went into surgery, I started holding my breath, I know the day he went up to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, still holding my breath and I know the days that it became clear that he was not going to get better and I know the day he died.

I keep a picture of him on my nightstand. I will never forget that little boy and how he fought so hard and how special he was.

Yesterday was the last day his Mom got to hold him the last day she saw the light in his eyes.

It takes my breath away many times when I think of him and brings tears to my eyes whenever I see a butterflies. I know it's Lucas stopping by to say hello to his mommy's friend. I know with ever fiber of my soul that he is in Heaven having a wonderful time. And while I am happy he's not hurting any more and no one can hurt him ever again, I still wish he could be with his brothers swimming, playing soccer, causing the good trouble his momma loves.

So hold your babies tight today. Hug them and kiss them and tell them you love them whether they are 3 or 43. I know (I hope) you do that everyday but if they have gotten older or think that hugs and kisses are icky or maybe you have gotten out of the habit of telling them how much you love them, make today Lucas day. A day to tell you son or daughter how wonderful they are to you even if they had major trouble at school or have been grand stinkers. Make sure you hold them and say "I love you forever and always".

You may not always like what I have to say. You may think I am crazy. But I hope today we all agree on this.