Thursday, July 19, 2007

A blur.


What a wonderful doctor we saw today. He talked TO Joseph and asked HIM questions and let him run and up and down his hallway of his office with his shoes off. He rubbed his back and let him rearrange his desk.

He showed us the MRI and explained it all to us. Every last slide. No doctor has ever done this for us.

The long the short, the good the bad is.
It was not a congenital stroke. It was a clot that travelled up to his brain. It caused two strokes, one small bleed out and a larger one. We still don't know when this happened. His MRI was done when Joseph was a year old and the MRI shows that at that time it was an old stroke. Dr. Ashikar wants to run some more tests to check for other blood disorders he may have, he wants to check his heart too.
For 3 years we have sat and thought it was something totally different than it really is. But he explained to us how and why it wasn't a congenital stroke.
Dr. Ashikar wants no braces on his feet or hands, he wants him free to grown and run and play. Amen. Something I have long fought for. Something I believed he needed.

I have spent the last 3 years believing in something and holding on to something that wasnt true. I have done things my gut has not been happy about doing and I cried big fat hot tears in this doctors office and he said "Sit down it wasn't anything you did, did you think that all this time?" and I nodded and let out a small sob and he shook his head and said "That should never have happened"

He looked at his MRI and said "He's going to be just fine" which we knew, we knew, we know him but some days when he wants to be a hockey player or a fireman a very small voice says "maybe or maybe not" but today I have no doubt. He will always have Cerebral Palsy he will fall under the umbrella there is part of his brain that is dead and that will never change. But we have a doctor now that is willing to help us and when he tells us that with Joseph and all he's accomplished already with the size of a double stroke, he thinks CP will be his dirty little secret when he gets older and for the first time in three years I believe that to be true.

I am very tired and my mind is all over the place. We have to have a few tests done and those will be hard days but in the end we have more answers and be more prepared than ever before to help Joseph down the road.

2 comments:

EDWEN VARGAS said...

keep doing what your doing, your awesome.

-Edwen vargas

assistive technology said...

This brings tears to my eyes. I hope you guys can stick with that doctor for a long time. He sounds like just what the doctor ordered.