Thursday, January 24, 2008

Dear Mrs.

I am just a name on a piece of paper in a folder on your desk. We are just numbers and facts and balances. I don't know what you're looking for but I don't think the contents of that file tell the whole story. I wish I could tell you who we really are. I wish I could show you the crazy, funny family we are. I wish you could know the ups and downs of the past 5 years.

We aren't perfect as the paperwork will definitely show.
I want to start out small with a home. A home. A place to call ours. To paint and fix. To get a dog if we wish. To plant a small garden in my backyard.
To plant a tree for my boys to watch grow.

Our immediate future is in your hands. We are a family with two wonderful boys who have not had it easy compared to most boys their age, but we are strong and we are faithful and whatever happens, happens and we will pick up and go on because that is what we do.

I dared to hope and dream. I dared to plan and hope oh the hope is high as a kite. I began to think a dream I have had for many years was about to come true. I feel like we have sacrificed so very much over the years and I dared to think that maybe it was all about to pay off. But my hope is sinking. I am beginning to think that maybe it's just another bump in the road for us. Another time it won't turn out. Another thing to deal with. Nothing ever goes smoothly for us and I am getting sort of use to it. I know that everything happens for a reason. I will roll with it.

Anyway on Monday morning you'll return to work after a brief illness that has kept you out of the office and you will see our file. Our names just mine and Dominic's and the contents of our lives yet hardly any part of our lives at all. You'll see a credit score I am not proud of and a bank account that empties as soon as it's filled. You'll see pay stubs and tax returns and look for all the things you look for and you'll make your decision. So I sit here and I wait to see if you see more on that paper. If you see thru the lines a family with big dreams and high hopes. If you'll see us and all that we have gone thru and if you'll give us a chance to have a little bit more than we have ever had.
I am hoping you'll see us.
I am praying you'll see us.

But I know at the end of the day no matter what you decide I still have a roof over my head, a family I love, good health and I am working hard for a better future. We are raising our boys, we are trying to be good people and even if I never own a home of my own at the end of the this life it won't matter all that much as long as my boys turn out to be great men, happy and healthy. As long as me and Dom get to grow old together. There are lots of things I may never do and there are things I just might not get to do right now. I was just hoping this might work out. I was just hoping you would find a way to approve us for a dream.
So have a nice cup of coffe and take a look and see what you think and look between the lines of it all and see us.

Thank you.

1 comment:

Shauna said...

Hey there,
Did you get a new email? I tried to send you one and it got returned. Let me know.