When Dominic and I decided to start a family it took us a bit of time. My hormones were always crazy and it was never clear when an egg would come along. So off to a wonderful doctor who set us up and after a few months of some pretty powerful pills viola along comes Derek. It was an easy breezy pregnancy, the labor and delivery not so much. The weeks after his birth difficult to say the least but he's nearly 12 now and still alive so needless to say we survived.
Doctor after doctor told us we weren't going to have any more children without more powerful drugs and we didn't have the funds for that and we were thankful and happy with the one we had. Well along came Joe. Our little surprise baby. (Come to think of it this kid, my Joe is always about the "I'll show you" kind so he was coming no matter what anyone told us)
Joe's pregnancy wasn't so easy breezy but his delivery was a dream and well you know how the rest of it turned out. He's almost 6 and CP is in our daily lives but we rock and roll with it.
Done. No more babies for us. We're a nice size family. It's all good. (Well, until we added Stella)
There are times I get mad at the boys. I am the fire, daddy is the ice most of the time. My temper and my fuse is short and hot. Derek will say "Are you going to kill me now?" and I say "Do you think after 9 hours of back labor with a breech baby, a c-section and the recovery, breastfeeding for too many years and your horrible sleep habits until recently I would kill you NOW? Oh no buddy not NOW" and then he squirms while he tries to figure out what his fate will be.
Even Joseph is reminded that I will not kill him now and I give him the laundry list of reasons.
* Note I would not kill either of my children. It's just a figure of speech ok? Don't give me any grief ok?
So in the world of Octo Mom's and Brad and Angie there are people trying to adopt, trying to conceive. I don't know how I feel about any of this actually. I think it's interesting the many sides of it. It's an emotional hot button for many. I know at one point I told Dom we would just adopt and he said absolutely not which surprised me since he was adopted he was so against it. But that really is a topic for another time.
I know you long for children that look like you or your spouse. I know women long to be pregnant and feel the life underconstruction inside them. I get that. I know you see the faces of children in Africa or some Asian countries and you long to provide them a better life. I know the technology is there to make just about anything possible these days from pretty much putting it all together in a dish under a microscope (what happened to the romance?)
This blogger and this post was very interesting to me. He take on it was eye opening.
This link offers a prespective I find interesting. Imagine that parent saying "No I am not going to kill you, it took $100,000 to conceive you and several specialist no way buddy" that type of thing.
I am happy I got my kids the way I did. I am happy they are here. I am happy to be done with that phase of my life. I don't know how I would deal with the things some of the other women in the world are. I wish them all the best.